


Just One Time

by Jotachinos



Category: Free!
Genre: 'cause that's cute, Fluff, Gen, Haru to the rescue!, Movies and Cuddles, No Smut, and Makoto is weak-hearted, it was written in a day so it's probably not all that good, one-sided but not for long, watching movies at the Tachibana house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-24 00:53:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1585688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jotachinos/pseuds/Jotachinos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto had been holding back his feelings since, well, forever. Although there is so much he wants to do, he couldn't bear the thought of losing Haru. But maybe tonight would be the night?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just One Time

**Author's Note:**

> Bad summary is bad.

Is it so bad to feel something for someone who has been by your side since your childhood?

Isn't it normal to feel an attraction to someone who actually cares for you and supports you?

Isn't it normal to love someone for who they are?

Is it so wrong for that one person to be your childhood friend?

One final question: is it so wrong for that one friend to be another man? Of course not. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You love who you love, any gender, any race, any belief, and there is no reason to be ashamed of that.

Even though there is nothing to be ashamed of, it's not as easy as just simply confessing your true feelings towards someone, because no matter what, there will always be a part of you that forces you to hold it back.

Sure, it's hard, but that's just how it works.

These were the questions and problems that Makoto was faced with every day and every night.

He had never imagined that the one he'd fall for would be his closest friend, but over the years the little things that Haru did made him think otherwise.

When the fishermen returned from the seas after the storm, the only person by his side was Haru. He held his hand with bone-crushing force as he watched unfamiliar men shuffle by, their faces frozen with dejection and fear, knowing that their friends would not return with them, including the old fisherman who had befriended Makoto in his younger years. A few days after the storm, Makoto's goldfish died. It seemed like he was losing everything he held close to him, except for his water obsessed friend.

Many years later, his feelings never faltered, but they only increased, and he was prepared to live with that, going about his days like a normal teenage boy, keeping his secret close to his yearning heart.

Although he put on a happy face, smiling sweetly and helping others, it was him who needed the help. But who could help him? How could he be helped? Makoto knew that nothing would change Haru's feelings or his own, so he bottled it up and forced himself to bear with the ever growing weight on his shoulders.

It was painful, but not as painful as the thought of losing Haru.

 

* * *

 

Friday: a normal day for some, an amazing day for one brown-haired boy and his best friend. They weren't sure when they decided to have sleepovers every Friday, but it sort of just became a thing.

The last lesson of the day was P.E. with Haru. Nagisa, being a freshman, was never in his classes (unless he snuck out) and Rei was constantly doing track, as well as swimming gracefully like a dead duck in a pond.

During P.E., Makoto would often steal glances at Haru, admiring the way he put so much effort in. He would often stare at his body, less muscular than his own. He wasn't really bothered about how he looked - his personality was all that mattered - but if he had to pick a part of him that he loved the most, it would be his eyes. They were just, indescribably perfect. The colour of the deep sea didn't scare him; it was a sea that he wouldn't mind getting lost in.

He also loved his arms, the ones he hoped to be held in one day. The body he wants to hold in his own arms was so close to reach out to, but he had to stop himself, especially during school.

Apart from his eyes, there was something else he wanted to lose himself in, and the thought of it both confused yet intrigued him.

He wanted to lose himself with Haru.

He wanted them to be connected with more than just an emotional bond. He craved physical contact with him, he needed it, just once, and he'd be happy.

Many late nights were spent alone in his room, head full of slightly inappropriate thoughts about his best friend. He tried to convince himself that he didn't want their relationship to turn into that, but it was to no avail.

He wanted it. He often thought about how he'd do it.

First, it would start with a hug, making sure not to rush anything - he would try to never do anything to freak out Haru. Next, he'd slowly ease into it, somehow managing a kiss, just a light one. After a while, depending on how comfortable Haru was, he'd try to deepen it a bit, hopefully getting some of his feelings across through that.

His hand would move from around Haru's neck/head and carefully move downwards, making sure to check with Haru if he was still okay.

Molesting your friend isn't the best way to start a romantic relationship.

Makoto never once tried to do this. But sometimes, he felt the need to. He was getting fed up of waiting for the opportunity to just jump into his life.

Was it sick to think about a friend this way? He didn't care anymore. He was done waiting.

Tonight would be the night.

"Makoto? Are you okay?" someone said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He had been so lost in his heated thoughts that he had forgotten he was in school.

"Uh, y-yeah, I'm fine. Sorry."

The hand lifted off of his shoulder and Haru stood before him, "You seem a little distant."

Makoto shook his hands and head, "No, I'm fine. Honest! Thank you anyway, Haru. A-are you okay?"

"Now's not really the time for a conversation," he said, looking away and sighing, "I wish this would just finish."

"Me too. Say, Haru, do you feel like watching a movie tonight? Ren broke my Xbox."

"Is it Titanic?"

"No, Haru, it is not Titanic."

"Good. That film makes water seem so evil."

Makoto listened and smiled as he let Haru rant on about how much he hated the film for the "unfair portrayal" of water. Honestly, Makoto thought Haru's obsession with water was cute. He thought everything about him was cute.

He cleared his throat to stop his mind wandering off again - if he continued to think, he'd probably get turned on.

"Makoto, you're freaking me out." Haru said, taking an uneasy step away from him.

"O-oh, sorry. I'm just thinking about things." Makoto answered, scratching his head and smiling.

Haru shrugged and walked back to the changing rooms, Makoto following behind.

He couldn't help but look at his backside, thinking about all the things he could do to it, until he had to peel his eyes away when someone coughed loudly.

After school, they decided to get their dinner out that night instead of ordering pizza yet again.

Makoto knew a good sushi restaurant that served grilled mackerel, Haru's favourite, so they decided to go there. He laughed to himself, thinking that this felt like some kind of date.

They had been eating for a few minutes and there was still no conversation. Instead, Makoto passed the time by looking at Haru when his attention was focused elsewhere. He watched him chew and he started smiling to himself. He watched his Adam's apple moved up and down when Haru drank, continuing to smile.

Saying that he had a crush on Haru was an understatement.

Makoto leant an elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand, looking at Haru like a loved-up girl with calamari hanging from her grinning mouth.

When Makoto looked away, they continued to eat in silence, Haru's attention focused on the fish tank next to the fiery counter.

"Makoto," Haru pointed to the plate in front of Makoto, "can I have some?"

"Sure!" He gave Haru his plate with a smile. Haru looked him in the eye as he started to eat, making Makoto nervous, "W-what?"

"..."

"H-Haru? Is there something on my face?"

"Yes. Here," he brought his hand to Makoto's face and rubbed his thumb over his cheek. The voice inside of Makoto's head was screaming.

"There." he pulled his hand back and stuffed more fish into his mouth. Haru looked up again and raised an eyebrow, "Are you ill?"

"Huh?"

"Your cheeks and nose are a little red."

"Oh, n-no, I'm fine. Am I really red?"

"Really."

He was completely unaware of the reddening in his cheeks caused by Haru's touch. Makoto laughed and said it was nothing to worry about and went back to his food, his mind wandered again to tonight.

Was he really going to do it?

Was he going to risk losing his best friend just for his own needs?

He knew he was being selfish and he knew what he was going to do was wrong, but he couldn't help it anymore: he would rather do it when he knew he had control of himself, rather than waiting before it was too late and he'd do something he'd regret.

Makoto started to shake with excitement, fear and anticipation, the tiniest bead of sweat ran down the back of his neck and his palms went clammy.

Haru sighed and shook his head, standing up quickly and walking to the counter. Makoto's eyes followed the back of Haru's head feeling slightly confused, making him tilt his own. He thanked the man behind the counter and motioned for Makoto to leave with his hand.

"What's wrong, Haru? Did you not like it there?"

"Would I leave over something so stupid? You just look awful, Makoto. I'm taking you home." he didn't wait for a reply before walking out of the door. Makoto sighed and apologised to the man for any disruptions and ran after Haru.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at Makoto's house.

"Hello?" Makoto called, unlocking the door. He waited for a few seconds and called again, but there was no answer. Haru kicked his shoes off and went into the living room, "Well, there's no note."

"Nothing?"

"Nope. No messages on the answering machine either." he hung up the phone and walked back over to Makoto, who was checking to see if he had received any texts.

"Huh..." he murmured, not seeing a single message, "I'll just give them a call."

The phone rang serval times before his mother answered, "Hello, Makoto?"

"Where are you all?"

"Oh, your father and I decided to take Ren and Ran to visit your grandmother for the weekend. I'm sorry we didn't tell you as soon as we left, but we figured that you wouldn't want us bothering you while you're with Haruka."

Makoto shook his head, "No, it's quite alright! Haru and I just had something to eat and now we're going to watch a few movies like we usually do. I'll see you Sunday."

"Okay, have fun, sweetie!"

The phone cut off. A whole weekend to themselves? Just him and Haru? If this wasn't a blessing, he didn't know what was.

When Makoto told Haru where his parents were, he had to hold down the urge to fist pump the air.

Why was he getting so excited over this? He could lose Haru over this selfish ne-

"Why don't we watch the film in your room?"

 _This isn't good..._ "Okay, Haru. What's the film?"

When Haru passed the DVD to Makoto, all the blood in his face disappeared completely when he read the film's title: Ju-on: The Grudge.

"You're okay with this, right?" Although Haru knew that Makoto was weak-hearted, he didn't really think that this film was particularly scary; the graphics seemed laughably bad.

"Y-yeah... I'm sure it's not _that_ scary..." He was, at this point, holding back the urge to run out of his house and curl up in a corner somewhere as he sobbed uncontrollably. But, he mustered up the courage to stay with Haru as they made their way into his bedroom.

They removed Makoto's duvet and pillows off his bed and sat down. Haru put a pillow behind each of them so they could lean on the wall; Makoto threw the duvet around their shoulders, ducking his head underneath.

"Are you sure you're okay watching this?" Haru questioned again, pointing the remote control at the screen.

"Yeah," he lied, "it's just a silly film, right? I'm sure there's nothi-"

The title menu flickered and flashed on the screen.

Makoto squeaked and jumped in a totally and 100% non-girly way, eyes shooting open. He knew he was going to regret this, but he was mostly doing this for Haru. Besides, this was kind of like a date. Not only had they eaten at a restaurant together, they're now watching movies together, almost snuggling up against each other under the duvet.

Haru just saw this as a normal Friday sleepover with Makoto, but Makoto was seeing this in a lovey-dovey way, the thought alone probably sent blood flooding into his cheeks. Other thoughts of what may or may not happen tonight didn't exactly help.

Haru asked yet again if Makoto was okay.

Sure, Haru looked/acted like an unemotional, serious, stoic guy, but he really did take other's feelings into consideration when the moment called for it.

Makoto gave a shaky nod and smiled in a way that showed he was trying to hide the fact that he was completely terrified.

 

* * *

 

After God knows how long, the film had finally finished, plunging the room into darkness.

During the course of the film, Makoto had ended up hiding his face between Haru's neck and shoulder, jumping at anything from loud noises to someone talking. He almost started crying when he heard that all-too-famous clicking.

When he began to tremble (really, he was that freaked out), Haru put his arm around Makoto's shoulder, pulling his head onto his chest as he began to pet his head. It was, really, the only way to calm Makoto down.

As his head rested on Haru's chest, he blocked out the sound of clicking and screaming to focus on Haru's breathing and heartbeat. He shut his eyes and listened as hard as he could, hearing just how calm he really was. Not once did his heartbeat quicken whenever Ju-on appeared, not once did his breathing hitch, not once did he notice his best friend's behaviour.

Makoto turned his head to the side, face pressing against Haru's chest.

Not only was he trying to hide from the screen, but he also did it to get as close to Haru as he could without sitting or laying on him.

Pushing his face onto Haru lightly, he took a quiet but deep breath, then he quickly looked up at Haru, reading his reaction. Haru looked down at him, asked if he was okay, then looked back up. Makoto couldn't believe that he had just gotten away with taking in his best friend's scent - he smelled like chlorine.

But, now that the film had finished, and as they sat in the darkness, Makoto knew that he would have to get up, even though he loved being this close to Haru. As he started to shuffle his way out from under the duvet, his shirt was grabbed, stopping him in his tracks.

"H-Haru? The film's finished now. Can I get up?" He didn't really want to move. In fact, he wanted to squeeze Haru back, cuddling with Haru, with the friend he had fallen for. But he couldn't just do that, could he?

Haru shook his head and tugged Makoto's shirt, "You're still scared, aren't you?" he asked, looking Makoto in the eye as his own adjusted to the dark.

Makoto was happy that it was dark: his growing blush was probably well-hidden. "I-I'm not anymore, Haru. It wasn't all that bad," he lied, "so I'll be fine." He waited for Haru to let go of his shirt, but he didn't, "Haru, really, I'm okay!" Trying to sound happy, he spoke with his usual smile.

But Haru was being difficult tonight.

He sat on his knees, still refusing to let go of Makoto's shirt, and made the two face each other.

"Makoto, you know you're still scared."

"H-how am I?"

"Well," Haru took Makoto's hand in his own. He thought he was going to scream. "Your hands are clammy and shaky."

"Oh, right... I'll just get a drink-"

"Sit with me for a while."

"Why? I-I don't want to burden you."

"Makoto," he started, putting his other hand on Makoto's shoulder. Why was he the one being all touchy?

"You're my best friend, right?"

Being called his 'best friend' was a huge blow, but he didn't expect anything else, even though he wanted to be more than a friend.

"Yeah, I know, but," His hand was still in Haru's, and he wanted to pull it away.

"And I'm here to help you out, right?"

"I just," Makoto was interrupted again.

"Am I or am I not?"

He gave up trying to get a word in. "Yes, Haru."

"So, let me help you."

The two boys were now lying side by side on Makoto's bed, staring at the ceiling.

By now, Makoto was thinking about the situation he was in: his life-long crush was lying next to him, on his bed, in the darkness, and he was trying his best to not turn over and pin Haru down, but it was getting harder. Right now, he wanted to hover over Haru, gently attacking his mouth and neck with soft, sweet kisses, maybe the occasional nibble on his exposed collarbone.

It didn't help that his Haru's arms were wrapped around him, holding him closer than he could have ever imagined. He returned the favour, pulling Haru towards him.

Neither of them felt awkward at all: all they were doing was comforting Makoto.

Because of the closeness, all the holding and such, Makoto was getting closer and closer to the point where he would finally do it. What he was telling himself he'd do tonight. But, he had to ease into it. Makoto thought that he could start talking about relationships and see where that takes him.

He turned and faced Haru, leaning on his elbow and resting his head on his hand. "Haru?"

He also turned around, copying Makoto's actions. "Hm?"

"I'm calmer now, thank you."

"Oh, that's good."

"Say, I was wondering, when did you get so, y'know, good and comforting? Usually, a-and don't get mad when I say this, you’re so... stoic."

"I don't really know. If someone needs cheering up, then I try."

"I bet you'd be a great husband someday." _Great way to ease into it._

"What makes you say that?"

"Huh?" His question took a while to resister. "Oh, r-right. Well, you're really supportive and caring towards me, and you've always been there," Makoto didn't realise that he was basically confessing, so he continued to talk. "When you look past your stern expressions, you can see a calm, compassionate man, and an amazing one. You're not at all selfish, not in the slightest, and you're just, you."

Haru raised an eyebrow and sat up, Makoto sat up too. "Makoto, are you trying to say that you want me to be your husband?"

"Ehh?! W-what makes you s-say that?"

"You, uh, said all those things," he stated, scratching his head and turning away.

Was... Was he... blushing?

"And, it's really, nice."

"H-Haru?"

"Makoto, you like me, don't you?"

Makoto's heart felt like it was going to fall into his stomach. He thought the best way to avoid confessing for real would be to play dumb. "Yes, of course. You're my best friend, Haru."

"You know what I mean. You like-like me, don't you?" he asked softly, "I mean, it's okay if you do,"

Playing dumb didn't work. He couldn't avoid the issue anymore.

"Yes." As blunt as it was, he finally said it.

Haru didn't say anything, sitting in complete silence as the TV buzzed on in the darkness. Makoto felt a huge pang of regret fill his entire body. "I'm, I'm sorry."

Haru shook his head. "It's fine: what's there to be sorry about? Tell me, how long have you felt this way?" This was a question Makoto definitely couldn't avoid without being rude.

"Since... we were kids..."

"Oh..." Haru looked at the ceiling; Makoto looked at his hands. "And why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Eh? B-because, you know, isn't it wrong?"

"Makoto, how could you say that?" Haru raised his voice, staring at the boy freaking out next to him.

"It's not r-right, is it? A best friend falling for another! Don't you hate me for it?"

He waited for an answer, but he didn't get one. Instead, Haru turned to his side to face Makoto, "I could never hate you. What kind of friend would I be if I hated you for something like this?" He moved closer, making Makoto gulp and turn his head.

"I just, y'know, never thought you'd feel the same way, so I kept it to myself. It does hurt a little, but not as much as the thought of losing you." Makoto felt a little bit relieved when he said that, feeling like some weight had lifted from his shoulders. But, with Haru this close, he was almost at the point where he will, and he means will, finally do it. Was he sure what he would do? No. He was going to go with the flow (if there was one).

"Makoto, you should've told me it hurt."

"Why?" Instead of getting a worded response, Haru placed both of his hands on Makoto's cheeks and pulled them together.

With their faces just centimetres apart, Makoto could feel his heartbeat quicken, almost dangerously so. If only he could just lean forward, just a little, then he could kiss Haru. He was right there.

But, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

Over and over he had repeated in his mind that tonight would most certainly be the night that Makoto finally took Haru. He had planned it over the years, but now that he had the chance, he just couldn't do it.

He was too scared to lose his best friend.

So, here they were, face to face, staring at each other as Makoto had a mini heart attack. Haru looked him right in the eyes, then down to his chin, then back up.

"Well, if you, you know, want to be with me, then you can be. I'd... like that."

**Author's Note:**

> Bad ending is bad.


End file.
